We live in a generation where both men and women want to pursue their careers and their relationships. “Doing it all” is doable, no doubt, but it is not always a walk in the park. Fortunately, new research has confirmed that taking the pain out of a stressful day can be facilitated by a supportive partner at home.
Researchers at Florida State University decided to take a closer look at working couples and what they need to do to be successful working couples. Wayne Hochwarter, Ph.D., who led the study at FSU, found that emotional support was the key to keeping things working smoothly: “Given that a lack of support from one’s spouse represents a major cause of both divorce and career derailment, this research is needed to address issues that affect both home and work.” We can all agree on that.
More 400 working couple from a variety of occupations participated in Hochwarter’s research. For those who are stressed out from work, it turns out strong partner support provides a myriad of positive benefits:
- 50% higher rates of satisfaction with a marriage;
- 33% more likelihood of having positive work relationships;
- 30% less likelihood of having guilt associated with family neglect;
- 30% less likelihood of being critical of others at home;
- 25% higher rates of concentration levels in the workplace;
- 25% less likelihood of experiencing fatigue post-work;
- 25% higher rates of satisfaction with time spent with children;
- 20% higher perspective that careers are heading in the right direction;
- 20% higher levels of job satisfaction.
Hochwarter posits that understanding and empathy are keys to maintaining happiness. He says, “In many cases, both return home from work stressed. Generating the mental and emotional resources needed to help when your own tank is empty is often difficult. Successful couples almost always kept a steady supply of support resources on reserve to be tapped on particularly demanding days.”
How can you support your partner? Researchers elucidated some extremely pragmatic nuggets of emotional support which works:
- Awareness of your spouse’s work demands (i.e., time pressure, deficient resources, supervisor issues);
- Not “forcing support” upon your partner;
- Understanding that communication lines remain open despite any circumstance;
- Recognizing that neglecting one’s family or lashing out is not a great way to foster support.
- Being able to bring your spouse back to an even-keel temperament;
- Not blitzing the family with complaints about small workplace issues;
- Not trying to “one-up” your spouses bad day with your own;
- Continuing to make an effort and work at it;
- Remaining calm and rational and not casting your spouse as a “bad guy”;
- Not keeping a tab on who is winning or losing.
Be there for your partner. This means something different for everyone – no two people are the same. Maybe your significant other needs to talk about a difficult situation at work so that they can move on. Maybe they need a distraction. Maybe you both need a night off from household duties. Get keyed into your partner’s needs and work to meet them… then worry about work. The results may surprise you.