What’s in your control in your life and how does it relate to your happiness?
Stick with me for a minute, I promise there’s a pay off…
From the moment humans are born, they’re interested in which things are under their control. There’s a famous study on a group of infants who are given control of their nursery mobiles with a special sensory pillow versus a group who aren’t given any control. Which group smiled more? You guessed it, the babies who figured out they could move the mobile by touching their pillow – their actions had consequences. They had some control.
Those are babies, what about adults? Have you ever heard of the “learned helplessness” experiments? Here’s a quick breakdown: two people in two different rooms (Rooms A & B) are both told to do some puzzles. While they’re working, an extremely annoying alarm goes off, but only the people in Room B can shut the alarm off. The people in Room A have to sit through the noise. Eventually, the people in Room A become sad, annoyed, and negative. They have no control over the bad circumstance they are in. And even when they’re finally given control to shut off the alarm, most of them don’t even try – they’ve learned they are helpless.
The Point
Believing you have no control to change bad circumstance in your life is associated with depression, anxiety, loss of motivation, and lots of negative emotions. Well-being comes from focusing on what is in your control. Here’s a little question to ask yourself – do you tend to focus on what’s in your control or what’s out of your control?
Your Assignment: Figure out what is in your control. Draw a circle and put all the things in your life which you can control and change inside the bubble. Put all the things outside of your control outside the bubble. Now, where do you spend your time, thoughts, and energy? Focus on what you can control. Make sure your actions have consequences; in this, you will find greater peace and well-being.