You can almost see that glittering trophy with your name engraved across the front, placed high on the top shelf in your room.  You imagine what you will buy with your prize money: maybe a giant pool table, or a robot who will feed you an endless supply of cookies, or a private Jacuzzi.  The possibilities are endless.

As you take the stage that day, your stomach flutters with nerves.  Robert the kid genius is sitting next to you, confidently practicing the words he memorized from his parents’ encyclopedia set.  Gina, last year’s champion, is stretching her arms and legs, as though she is preparing to run a race.  You concentrate on one thing and one thing only: winning those prizes.

Prizes can be amazing motivators.  It makes perfect sense: when you know that you are going to receive something in exchange for your efforts, you are more motivated, and more excited to work hard.  And there’s nothing wrong with working hard to gain something concrete, like a trophy or prize money.  Imagine you win the spelling bee and walk off with your trophy in one hand, and one hundred dollars in the other.  Your classmates cheer loudly, and Robert and Gina look on with jealousy.  What a great feeling, right?

This is known as extrinsic motivation.  It means that we are motivated to do something because there is the hope or promise of some external reward.  The motivation to win the spelling bee came from the promise that you would receive a trophy and money if you won.  You spent hours pouring over lists of spelling words because you desperately wanted those prizes.

Throughout our lives, there won’t always be prizes in exchange for hard work.  Sometimes we work really, really hard, and succeed at something, and there is no one there at the finish line to applaud our efforts or hand us a medal for outstanding achievement.  The only thing we are left with is how we think and feel about our accomplishments and ourselves.  When we are motivated to succeed because a) we want to feel good about ourselves, b) we want to master a new skill for personal gain and growth, or c) we want to contribute to our communities, this is known as intrinsic motivation.

Let’s say you wanted to win the spelling bee because you wanted to prove to yourself how many words you know.  Or because you were determined to beat your personal record last year, when you came in fifth place.  Or what about wanting to win to feel proud of yourself for achieving a huge goal?  All of these are examples of intrinsic motivation.  Rather than winning for the prizes or the approval of others, you are winning for yourself.

Why This Motivation Stuff Matters

It actually makes a big difference whether we set goals for ourselves (intrinsic) or with the hope of gaining something in return (extrinsic).  When we get into the habit of working hard for some sort of concrete gain, like money, it becomes really difficult to work just as hard when there is no longer any gain—no more money in exchange for work.  Motivation researchers have explored just this.  In one study, researchers secretly observed two groups of students working on a school newspaper.  (Imagine, being secretly watched while working with your friends on a group project—let’s just hope they didn’t do anything too embarrassing!) One group of students was given fifty cents for every article they wrote for the paper.  The second group of students was never given any money for writing articles.

Now fast-forward several weeks later.  The students in that first group, the fifty-cent group, are told that the paper can no longer afford to pay them for each article they write.  They will no longer receive money in exchange for articles.  The second group is told nothing—they continue writing articles for no money.

What do you think happened to the students in the first group?  No more money, no more work ethic.   The number of articles these students wrote completely dropped!  When they were getting paid for each article, these students were in a rush to churn out as many articles as possible.  But now, things changed.  They lost their extrinsic motivation for working hard.  They decided to kick back and relax, pop open a soda and put their feet up.  Why bother working so hard when they weren’t even getting paid?

The students in the second group, who had always been working without any promise of money, continued to write the same number of articles for the paper.  Nothing changed.  They were already intrinsically motivated.  They had found other reasons to work hard—like the love of writing or the satisfaction of contributing to a big project with their fellow classmates—that had nothing to do with earning money.  These reasons proved to be more powerful in the end.  Intrinsic motivation kept these students working on articles even after the other group’s fifty-cent rewards wore off.

That’s why it is important to build up your own set of internal motivators.  It’s totally natural to be excited by an awesome reward, to work hard to get that perfect grade, or to imagine yourself bowing to a crowd of faithful admirers.  But it is also necessary to make sure that when the applause fades, you are still able to push yourself for the sake of being the best speller/student/person you can be.

Can You Do More For Yourself?

Let’s look at some ways to build up intrinsic motivation:

1. What are your passions?  What do you enjoy doing in your spare time? What gives you that sense of personal satisfaction?  Maybe you love building robots or making your own clothes.  Or maybe you get a rush from solving puzzles or reading difficult books.  Whatever your interests are, you are more likely to feel internally motivated to succeed when you are engaging in activities you genuinely enjoy.  When you’re doing what you love, you may not need that external reward to keep moving.
2. What are your goals? Work with a parent or trusted advisor to make a list of goals you want to accomplish this year.  Or make a list yourself!  Now go through the list, and think about the reasons behind each goal.  What are you doing to make yourself better or to make yourself proud?  Make sure that there is a healthy balance on that list between goals that are internally and externally rewarding.
3. What interests you right now? Think about your current hobbies or activities.  Which of those activities are you doing for external gain?  If you paint, do you paint so that you can impress your art teacher, or do you paint for yourself? It’s okay if the answer is, well, a little bit of both!  But just being aware of why we do the things we do can help us refocus on what is intrinsically rewarding.

The phrase “It’s not about winning, it’s how you play the game,” might seem lame after the word “loquacious” sends you packing at the school-wide spelling bee.  But there might some truth in there.  The satisfaction we get from engaging in things that challenge us lasts much longer than medals and trophies.  It is what keeps us going even after the prizes run out.

Unfortunately for Alicia, this self-deprecating conversation has become somewhat of a daily ritual. As she draws closer to her reflection, squinting her eyes to inspect the right side of her face, she can’t help but feel repulsed by the two zits straddling each side of her nose. Her mind wanders from her flawed complexion, to her matted hair, to her awkwardly fitting clothes, and all the difficulties she has already anticipated for the coming school day.

Society, parents, friends, and mentors always stress the importance of kindness. Often times we only associate the word kindness with the idea of helping others; a friend, the elderly, or somebody in need. However, there exists another type of kindness; one which is less frequently demanded of us, yet holds such profound value.

This type of kindness is the one we express towards ourselves, in what we refer to as self-compassion.

Kristin Neff, Ph.D., associate professor in human development and culture at the University of Texas in Austin, defines self-compassion as “a clear-sighted way of relating to ourselves even in instances of failure, perceived inadequacy, and imperfection.” It is the single most powerful tool in creating a greater sense of well-being.

The Three Components of Self-Compassion

Dr. Neff categorizes compassion in three main components. Lets identify these components and see how they would impact Alicia were she to embrace their message.

1. Treat yourself with kindness. Relinquish harsh self-judgment and self-criticism.

If Alicia were to take this component of self-compassion and apply it to her situation she may see a strikingly different side to her daily dilemma. By embracing herself, flaws and all, and being gentle to herself, Alicia would be able to appreciate how beautifully her radiant skin glows, instead of fixating on the two tiny zits that take up a small, if even noticeable, fraction of her face. She would realize that the matted hair she sees in the mirror is naturally highlighted in many tones and falls perfectly to frame her face with but a single comb-through. The constant self-criticism she exhibited would be exchanged for positive and uplifting thoughts.

2. Embrace the common humanity. What you feel is alien or “different,” is often precisely what connects you to others.

Using this element in her morning routine, Alicia would understand that she is not alone in her struggle, and that by isolating her problems, she is only inflicting greater harm to herself. If she were to go to school, she may shy-away from classroom activities, feeling embarrassed or inadequate about her appearance. However, were she to embrace the idea of common humanity, she may befriend another student whom she can recognize as facing a similar struggle.

3. Practice mindfulness. Be in the present moment.

If Alicia were to practice mindfulness, she would look in the mirror and understand that her reflection is giving her pain, understand what is going on with her body, and know that despite these things, she still loves herself because her beauty emanates from a place which is not her body, and not her image.

By recognizing these components of compassion, Alicia will be able to treat herself with the same patience, understanding, and gentleness she would a dear friend who was hurting. In doing so, she will be able to contribute to her present and future state of well-being in a tremendously positive way.

More ideas for incorporating self-compassion into your life:

1. Acknowledge that you are suffering, and practice open heartedness towards yourself.
2. Soothe your pain in the wake of self-criticism by taking a minute out of your day to tell yourself that you are loved, and that despite your current afflictions, everything is okay.
3. When you realize self-harming thoughts enter your mind, think of what you would say to your closest friend, were they to approach you with the same problems. Show yourself the same kind of love and compassion.
4. Allow yourself to feel good and direct your thoughts and feelings to a happy place.  People who have trouble with self-compassion often feel as though they do not deserve to feel good, that there is something wrong with being happy. The more you can do things that make yourself feel good, the more self-compassion you are showing towards yourself. When you are happy you have an increased sense of well being.
5. Write yourself a note. Recognize the negative feelings you may be having, the ones you are aware of and the ones you have suppressed deep within. Forgive yourself for having felt this way, and write down all the wonderful qualities about you. Write the things that other people say they love in you- the things that make you special. Thank yourself for all that you are, all that you have accomplished, your hardships, failures, mistakes, emotions and actions.

Carry this note with you so that every time a negative emotion or situation arises in your life, you will have a little personal piece of compassion written by the person who loves you the most: you.

“Everyone is going over to swim at Josh’s house right now,” she says excitedly.  “We need to go! Get your swimsuit on and meet me outside in ten minutes!”

You glance down at your blank math worksheet and the two books you have to read by next Wednesday. You imagine all of your friends lounging in Josh’s yard, eating barbecue and splashing in the deep end.  Dilemma.  If you throw on your bathing suit and head over to Josh’s, you’ll have a great Saturday.  If you stay in and work, you might not have the best Saturday, but your good grades at the end of the year will be your well-deserved reward. So, do you swim or study?

Most of us know what we should do—skip out on the pool party and catch up on work.  However, when the promise of fun in the sun is dangling over our heads, it can be really difficult to stay motivated and hit the books.

This phenomenon is known as “delayed gratification.” Delayed gratification means that instead of choosing the option that seems the most fun right this minute, we hold out for something that will be more fun or give us more enjoyment in the future.  In this example, we are passing up an immediate fun reward (swimming with friends), and putting in work to achieve a future reward (excellent grades). We might miss out on Amanda’s amazing cannonball splash that Saturday at the pool, but we will be much happier with our grades in the long run.

Psychology researchers like Dr. Walter Mischel study delayed gratification using a dangerous combination—marshmallows and hungry nursery school kids. Little boys and girls enter an empty room and someone places one big marshmallow in front of them on a plate.  They lick their lips and get ready to feast on the sticky marshmallow.  But, there’s a catch.  The kids are told that they have two choices: they can eat the one marshmallow in front of them right now, or they can wait fifteen minutes and they will receive a second marshmallow!

Sounds simple, right? Go for two! But don’t forget, these are young kids who looooove marshmallows.  And fifteen minutes can feel like three hours to a four-year old!  Some kids eat the marshmallow right away.  Some kids close their eyes, kick their legs, and pick at the corners of their sticky treat. They’ll do anything to avoid eating that marshmallow.  If they make it the full fifteen minutes, they get rewarded with a second fluffy white marshmallow.

Now, this experiment wasn’t just a test to tease.  These researchers wanted to see if the choices that the nursery school kids made when they were very young—to eat the marshmallow or not to eat—would influence their later success as adults.  But why would eating (or not eating) a marshmallow have anything to do with success?

The kids who waited that fifteen minutes to get the extra marshmallow were showing more self-control and a stronger ability to regulate, or manage, their desires.  What’s interesting is that the researchers found that many years later, nursery school kids who showed the ability to wait for the second marshmallow had higher SATs scores, higher educational achievement, better ability to cope with stressful situations, higher self-esteem and less drug use as teens and adults.  Overall, their lives were way better! The ability to wait for rewards rather than indulging immediately seems to predict future success.

Does this mean that all of the four and five year old marshmallow gobblers who just couldn’t wait fifteen minutes will never be successful? Of course not!  Research studies like the marshmallow test only point out that delayed gratification and future success are linked, but the test can’t predict any individual kid’s future.

But the results make sense. Oftentimes, some of the best rewards take hard work and a lot of patience. Remember “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory”? While each of the other children invited to Willy Wonka’s magical candy factory are unable to wait before diving into the candy, Charlie waits patiently until the end of the tour and receives the best prize of all-the entire chocolate factory!

We can be in control of the choices we make. It can be really hard to wait for something that we can’t immediately see. Whether it’s saving up allowance for a big purchase rather than spending all of your money right away, or practicing an instrument after school instead of heading to the mall, delayed gratification isn’t always easy. Picture your goals in your mind. Imagine your future successful outcome. Celebrate little steps along the path to your final goal, like reaching the twenty dollar mark in your piggy bank or mastering a piece of music on your violin. Hang up pictures or little reminders of what you are working toward. Delayed gratification is something we can teach ourselves, and with practice, it becomes easier and easier to control the “now” and wait for the “later.”

So next time you sit down to the task at hand, and the sun is calling from beneath your window shades, remember those little kids and their marshmallows.  It seems that the marshmallow test proves what parents and grandparents have been telling us all along: patience is a virtue. Besides, you can always hit the pool later, after you have finished some of that homework. We’ll save you some barbecue.

“I missed the bus . . . nothing ever goes my way.”

“My math teacher wants to see me . . . I must be in trouble.”

These are the thoughts of a high school student named Jeremy. You wouldn’t know it from his thoughts, but Jeremy is actually pretty popular and gets decent grades. Unfortunately, in the face of adversity, Jeremy makes a common error; he falls into “thought holes.” Thought holes, or cognitive distortions, are skewed perceptions of reality. They are negative interpretations of a situation based on poor assumptions. For Jeremy, thought holes cause intense emotional distress.

Although all kids blow things out of proportion or jump to conclusions at times, distorting reality is not innocuous. Studies show that thought holes can provoke self-defeating ideas (i.e., “I’m a loser”) that trigger self-defeating emotions (i.e., pain, anxiety, malaise) that, in turn, cause self-defeating actions (i.e., acting out, skipping school). Left unchecked, inaccurate thoughts can also lead to more severe conditions, such as depression.

Fortunately, with a brief social and emotional learning lesson, we can teach students how to fill in their thought holes and view the world in a more accurate light. The lesson begins with an understanding of what causes distortions of reality. Continue reading on Edutopia.com

The technical definition

Flow is the mental state in which a person is engaged in an activity where they are fully immersed with a feeling of  energized focus, involvement, and success in the process of the activity.

Huh, what does that mean?

You have undoubtedly been in a flow state before. Athletes call it “being in the zone,” mystics call it “ecstacy,” and artists call it “rapture.” It’s when you stop thinking and just do. A champion chess player gets into a flow state when he/she is playing a game of chess against a grand master. A concert pianist gets into a flow state during a performance. Warren Buffet gets into a flow state when he is deciding whether or not to purchase a stock.

Flow is when you are completely involved in an activity for its own sake. The ego falls away. Time flies. Every action, movement, and thought follows inevitably from the previous one, like playing jazz. Your whole being is involved, and you’re using your skills to the utmost.” ~Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

Conditions for flow

Flow cannot be forced, but you can set up some ideal conditions for flow to occur. Flow occurs when you engage in an activity which exists between the boundary of boredom and anxiety. The task you take on cannot be too challenging that you feel anxious; nor can it be too easy, that you feel bored. If you find an activity with the perfect level of challenge, you may find your flow.

Indications that you are in flow

1. Time becomes irrelevant and hours can pass like minutes.
2. You aren’t thinking about yourself, only your activity.
3. You aren’t interrupted by extraneous thoughts such as what to make for dinner.
4. While you may be working toward an ultimate goal, you find the activity itself to your primary motivation.
5. You have control over what you are doing.
6. You work effortlessly.
7. You would like to repeat the experience.

Why is flow awesome for you?

Research shows that flow experiences enhance well-being. Flow can also produce improved performance in various domains including teaching, learning, athletics and artistic creativity. Think about the last time that you lost track of time.  What were you doing?  Preparing dinner?  Singing in the shower?  Reading a book?  Find your flow and help your youthlings find theirs as well.

Coach Carter is the true story of coach Ken Carter, a tough, no-nonsense high school basketball coach who took an underfunded, underprivileged, unenthused, and all-around weak excuse for a basketball team and turned them into a team of champions, on and off the court. As you watch this clip, ask yourself, what’s right with this picture?

Throughout middle school, I was best friends with a very ambitious, very talented girl. As her ever present side-kick, I followed her many places. One spring, I even followed her on stage for our school talent show. I voiced my doubts, but she said that she could absolutely not do it alone. So I acquiesced.

Angela had a brave, rippling voice, an unshakable stage presence, and sparkling features. While I was a sweet girl, I had no singing voice; nor much stage presence at the time. So you can imagine my dismay when, of the two microphones we were handed, mine was the only one that functioned.

I realized the dilemma as soon as we started singing, but I kept going. I got through the choreography, kept singing, and Angela accompanied me as best she could. Still, my absurd notes rose above hers, and my red-hot humiliation followed suit. In that moment of mortification, I felt destined to be an outcast.

I almost didn’t make it to school the next day. I ended up going and decided to lie low. After a while, I noticed something. The more that people laughed about what had happened, the more I felt connected to them. I laughed with them. By laughing together, they proved to me that no matter how lame I felt, I was still a part of them. If I had remained hidden away, I never would have given myself the chance to feel anything other than separate.

Sometimes half the work of getting over an embarrassing incident is simply feeling the embarrassment, and giving voice, gesture, and laughter to it. This helps us reconnect with everyone else. My acknowledgement of what happened made me feel that I was one with my peers again.

What does the research say?

Researchers on the subjects of both embarrassment and shame posit you can actually amp up your resistance to these incidents by uncovering what has been covered up. Here are some basic techniques to do just that:

1. Understand your feelings: Uncover your feelings to yourself, for your own viewing. Think deeply about the causes and events which led to your embarrassment, seeking to understand the situation as if from outside yourself.
2. Think from an outside perspective: Seeing the wider picture can help you to judge whether or not the wrongs you committed are ones which truly trap you into feeling embarrassed. Embarrassment is sometimes (not always) unnecessary, and you need not live your life as prisoner to it. To see whether this is true, try these tricks to open up your perspective on the issue:
   1. It’s a common mistake: Seeing the wider story can often reveal that yours is a mistake made by many, and this can act as a great starting point for finding the courage to uncover your embarrassment or shame to others.
   2. It’s only embarrassing in certain social settings: Taking an objective point of view can reveal that some things are embarrassing only within the group you are currently surrounded by. In this case, there may be others outside this group who will understand you. If you find that your embarrassment is only valid in certain social circles, perhaps you should question whether continuing the feeling is even logical.
   3. Who’s the judge: Looking at the issue from outside yourself can help you examine the standards by which you are judging your mistake. Every mistake is simply a failure to live up to a set of expectations you have for yourself, or that others have for you. It is important to discover who you believe you are disappointing, what the rules were that you broke, as well as what high standards you did not achieve.
3. Talk to others: Look around yourself and figure out who you will go to in moments of embarrassment. This is someone who trusts you enough to tell you their own secrets, because that way you will feel more comfortable trusting this person with yours. Perhaps at first it may seem that there is no one, but search widely and there is always someone who needs someone to talk to.
4. Learn the vocabulary: When we do venture into the scary moment of releasing our darkest secrets for another to hear, use specific vocabulary in expressing the story. If we lump embarrassment or shame in with other emotions such as anger, fear, or sadness, we risk confusing ourselves, and diminishing the opportunity to fix the true problem at hand.

My embarrassing moment on stage was one that passed in a few days as I laughed over the event, an action which acknowledged my own embarrassment, rather than hiding it. Everyone suffers from shame or embarrassment in their lives. When you keep in mind these feelings are universal, there is no longer any reason to hide.

The theory of emotional intelligence gained traction in 1983, when Howard Gardner published his theory of multiple intelligences. Gardner argued that traditional IQ measures focus too much on academic abilities and fail to assess other important competencies. He promoted the ideas of interpersonal intelligence (the ability to understand and relate to others) as well as intrapersonal intelligence (the capacity to understand and regulate one’s feelings and motivations). Several researchers, including Daniel Goleman, later developed these ideas to create the concept of emotional intelligence, which refers to a person’s ability to identify, understand, and modulate emotions–both one’s own feelings as well as the emotions of others.

It seems intuitive that emotional intelligence is just as important as traditional intelligence. Yet, with the current focus on raising standardized test scores and improving school performance, teachers are under increasing pressure to focus on reading, mathematics, science, and other “core subjects.” The time has come to shift the focus. Raising emotional intelligence in students can lead to better academic outcomes, safer learning environments, and improved behavior in children.

Developing Emotional Intelligence in the Classroom

Teachers can try the following techniques in the classroom to help students cultivate emotional intelligence.

1. Identify emotions. Most students have rich emotional lives, but they may lack the vocabulary to adequately describe their feelings. Ask probing questions to get students to acknowledge their emotions. For example, “Are you really feeling angry right now, or are you hurt that Emily said mean things to you?”
2. Validate feelings. Ask questions about how a student is feeling, and say “I can understand why you feel that way. I would be frustrated too if I was having trouble with that math problem.” This promotes empathy, compassion, and concern for others.
3. Empower students to create solutions. Instead of instructing students on what they “should” do, allow them to resolve problems on their own. Asking, “What would help you feel better?” gives the student a chance to identify his feelings, determine his emotional needs, and enact a solution. These problem-solving skills promote knowledge of own’s emotions as well as consideration of others’ feelings.

Promoting emotional intelligence is just one part of employing SEL in an educational setting, but it has the potential to dramatically change classroom dynamics.

The generation gap between parents and their children often leaves one thought on the minds of children: You don’t know what it’s like!

As adults, it’s easy to forget the trials and tribulations of childhood. This often leads to a disconnection such as the one portrayed in the scenario above. While not seeing eye-to-eye is par for a parent-child relationship, continued disconnections can lead to a larger rift. One resolution is to increase the empathy in your relationship with role-playing.

It may seem silly at first, but role-playing can open up new and unexpected dialogue between your and your kids. Role-playing allows open communication without real vulnerability or threat. In other words, it creates a safe space where dialogue and feelings open up. Start with small, simple scenarios and progress to more issues as time goes on.

Watch the video above to learn more!

By teaching children skills of optimism, it is possible to “immunize” or safeguard them against episodes of depression. This concept is at the core of The Optimistic Child.

The Big Ideas!

• Pessimistic children are at a much higher risk of becoming depressed than optimistic children.
• In numerous long-term studies, Seligman and colleagues discovered a link between pessimism or dwelling on the most catastrophic causes of any adversity and depression.
• Optimism is not only a tendency with which some are born, it is also a learned skill. Even those who are naturally pessimistic in nature can master the skill of optimism.
• Studies indicate people are far more depressed now than just 100 years ago.
• Seligman and colleagues show adults how to teach children the skills of optimism with specific skills and exercises.
• Optimism can help children thwart depression, achieve more in school, and improve physical health.
• In adults, pessimism can be a significant barrier, not only to mental wellness, but also to overall life satisfaction.
• When people face adversity, the narrative they use to explain the adversity is known as an “explanatory style.” Explanatory styles can be categorized as optimistic or pessimistic based on three different dimensions (more info below).

Neutrino’s Nutshell

How can a parent or teacher provide youth with the skills to stave off depression? If you are thinking it has something to do with self-esteem, Seligman would disagree. In fact, he blasts the self-esteem movement and its encouragement to make children simply ”feel good” about themselves. False praise may lead to pessimism as children perceive the insincerity of parents and teachers. Seligman posits, “In order for your child to experience mastery, it is necessary for him to fail, to feel bad, and try again repeatedly until success occurs. None of these steps can be circumvented. Failure and feeling bad are necessary building blocks for ultimate success and feeling good.”

One of the primary ways to help your child become more optimistic is to help change their explanatory style. What’s an explanatory style? When someone faces an adversity, the way they explain that event to themselves and others is known as an explanatory style. These narratives are evaluated around three dimensions.

• Permanent vs. Temporary: Events either change across time or remain stable.
• Pervasive vs. Specific: Events are universal or specific to a particular domain.
• Personal vs. Impersonal: Causes of an event are within oneself or outside of oneself.

Someone with an optimistic explanatory style would characterize an adversity as temporary, specific, and impersonal. The pessimist, on the other hand, sees adversity as permanent, pervasive, and personal. As an example, a child who fails a test in school may internally believe “I’m a loser.” Clearly, this is largely pessimistic point of view as it is enduring and can be applied to nearly any domain of life. Conversely, the optimistic child who has failed a test will tend to think in ways that can be shaped, maintaining control over one’s destiny, as it were. The optimistic child will say “I failed this test because I didn’t study enough.” This explanation is specific and leaves doors open for improvement and change.

In addition explanatory styles, the book delves into other skills such as learning about link between thoughts, feelings, and actions; catching and evaluating thoughts; creating alternative thoughts; and keeping things in perspective to name a few. Studies developed by Seligman and his team in Philadelphia-area schools, skills such as these can reduce the risk of depression, improve academic performance, and boost physical health in children.

Quotables

Raising children, I realized, is more than fixing what is wrong with them.  It is about identifying and amplifying their strengths and virtues, and helping them find the niche where they can live these positive traits to the fullest.”

“Optimism will not make the problems disappear.  On the contrary, it allows your child to get to the root of the problem so that she can focus on correcting the situation.”

IMEO (In My Eudaimonian Opinion)

This book is fascinating, even if you do not have or work with children. This is a book which adults can read and sit back in shock at how easily your world view back can be traced back to the one so dearly held as children. For the parent, the information Seligman has provided in this book is invaluable. For an adult who was once a child, it’s a way to look closely at how you act in, and react to, the world now.

This book is practical, practical, practical! It goes well beyond theory into actionable exercises for both adults and children.  Not only can these exercises help increase optimism, they help one maintain hope during the most trying life experiences. Keep this in mind-if you’re more of a half empty person when you start reading this book, at the very least, your glass will look very different when you’re done.

The Deets

The Optimistic Child: A Proven Program to Safeguard Children Against Depression and Build Lifelong Resilience
Authors: Martin E. Seligman
Publication Date: 1996